I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
