saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
