My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize