the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
