Buhtt sex?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize