I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
