I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
