I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
