whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
