if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The dick lei will go down in squad history
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
