I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
