I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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