i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
