i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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