I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
