how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
