I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
