So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
