Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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