i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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