listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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