Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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