The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
