The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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