So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We need a shit load of segways right now
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
