did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
