I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
