Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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