Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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