There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
