My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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