The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
