i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
