If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize