You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
