you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
