Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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