i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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