Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry undecided_dude hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(216): View more from Ohio

my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?

(1-216): View more from Ohio

i'd get off the bar first.

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(907): View more from Alaska

she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.

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(708): View more from Illinois

you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?

(713): View more from Texas

lets deal with that after we figure out where i am

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(619): View more from California

I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?

Fav 9 1149 882
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(716): View more from New York

I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.

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