MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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