I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
