I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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