What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I got inside last night via doggy door
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
