He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
