So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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