I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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