so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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