5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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