farters have to be the big spoon...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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