low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize