i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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