Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
