yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
