don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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