It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
