First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
