My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize