we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize