I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
