just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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