I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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