It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
