Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
