Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
