I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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