I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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