If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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