How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
