I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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