"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize