after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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