How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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