dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
