My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
