Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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