Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
