i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The beer is more important than you right now.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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