the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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