Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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