He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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