you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
