If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
